Julia's Top 10 Practices for Mindfulness and Meditation
When Ella asked me to write a piece for one of the December newsletters, I started mentally reviewing the options of what to share and what would have the most interest, appeal, and impact. I decided I’d keep it light and fun and (and now really showing my age…) make it a TOP TEN list, a la David Letterman.
So here you have the TOP 10 Ways Mindfulness and Meditation Impact My Life:
10. Practicing equanimity supports me as I navigate life’s ups and downs.
This even-minded tendency allows me to feel steady on ordinary days and prevents me from flipping my lid when something extraordinary happens (pleasant or unpleasant). When the sh*t hits the fan, I can fly into thoughtful action without melting down. I specifically believe this has made me a calmer, less reactionary mother. As a mom of two girls in their 20s, it’s easy to disagree with their decisions, thinking we know best. Practicing equanimity gives me the tools to (try) remain steady in the storms of life.
9. Every morning I walk my dog, Eddie.
While walking it’s easy to get lost in thought about what’s on my to-do list, self-referential thoughts, or catastrophize about all the “what-ifs” in life. Through mindful walking, I’m thoughtful, deliberate, and honestly, having a much more pleasurable experience. On my morning walk I get to see the light of the sunrise shine through the trees, celebrate my working body, say sweet-nothings to Eddie, and watch wildlife enjoy their morning. The practice, which helps me awaken to the moment, brings more joy and beauty into my life.
8. Teaching “street smarts” to two daughters isn’t always easy.
Sharing the 5-4-3-2-1 practice with them gives them the skills to sense into the present moment and determine if they are safe. Getting on the subway or in an uber? Look around - what do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste. Out at a club or party? Awaken to the moment with curiosity and make sure you’re feeling secure in your surroundings. And by all means, if you don’t feel safe - stay with a group and move on.
7. I have tinnitus!!
The constant ear ringing is NOT fun and can really derail me at times. Opening my awareness to sounds allows me to notice that bird outside my window, the sound of cars traveling at a steady pace on a nearby road, a soft radio playing in the kitchen, or the gurgling of my stomach. I use sounds to anchor me to the present moment where I’m NOT focused on the tinnitus - and it’s a much enjoyed reprieve.
6. The aspect of “name it to tame it” and mindfulness of emotions supports me daily.
Through the practice I’m able to pause, notice what I’m feeling, and then say to myself, “oh, this is what fear, joy, anger, sorrow feel like” - I can notice it in my body. I’ve noticed that stress shows up as extreme tightness in my throat and fear feels like an upset stomach, nervousness makes me feel weak in the limbs and joy lights up my face! When we can name it, we can befriend it, whatever it is in the moment, knowing it won’t last forever.
5. Through the practice of Loving Kindness we send heartfelt wishes to ourselves, people we know well, to the familiar stranger, to someone who challenges us, and to the larger community.
This practice has supported me in a difficult relationship I have with a family member. During my loving kindness practice, I frequently hold the person in my awareness (as the person who challenges me), and without wanting, needing, or expecting them to be different, send them Loving Kindness. In that moment I am able to love them just as they are and just as I am, which prepares me to be more loving when we see each other in person.
4. Living a modest life in uber wealthy Fairfield County offers ongoing opportunities for envy.
Practicing Empathetic Joy creates healthy habits of the mind that allow me to shift into a sense of celebration and joy for all of the incredible things in life, even when they are someone else’s good fortune. Recent experiences of joy include a friend’s new puppy, my younger daughter’s interview for a summer internship, my cousin’s new baby girl, my best friend’s vacation, my older daughter finding her favorite boots that were misplaced, and my niece’s wedding. My heart is full!!
3. Sharing the practice of self-compassion that includes gestures of holding one's own hand, a self-hug, or resting hands on the face or heart has been incredibly rewarding as a facilitator.
To witness grown men who’ve experienced great hardship including life in the projects, violence, harassment, gun violence, and incarceration, rest with their hands on their own hearts, with a sense of ease in their bodies and on their faces, while offering themselves a gesture of self-compassion and wishing for an end to struggle makes my heart burst wide open.
2. In July 2022 I had spinal fusion, where during an already invasive and complex surgery, I went into anaphylaxis and my heart stopped.
Thankfully the doctors saved my life and through screws, rods, and spacers, fixed my spine. After surgery my blood pressure plummeted to 85/50, I fainted while using the bathroom, and woke up inverted in the hospital bed. I lost all color in my fingers and hands, and was riddled with anxiety. The pain and the experience were mentally, emotionally, and physically overwhelming. Later while in the hospital I spoke with CMP co-founder, Erika Long. She asked if I had a window in my room, and if so, look out to the furthest possible point. YES! I did have a window overlooking the East River in NYC. I couldn’t get out of bed but I could still look out and off into the distance. I paused and took a few deep breaths and noticed as a sense of calm took over. As Erika has shared on numerous occasions, looking off into the distance shifts the brain away from the self-referential thoughts and allows the mind to expand beyond the sense of self. I was able to focus on something other than my downward spiraled thoughts and find some moments of ease.
1. The combined practices of body scan and gratitude are my number one favorite ways to meditate.
As I age I’m reminded of what my body used to be able to do. I am a former dancer, taught high-energy Zumba for a decade and all levels of yoga for over 20 years. I LOVE movement as an expression of joy and celebration of what the human body can do!
Age (and as you read above, a history of spinal problems) serve as a constant reminder of the differences of my 54 year old, post-surgical body’s abilities compared to my younger self. When practicing body scan and gratitude I’m able to notice how I’m feeling right now (not dwelling on what my 24, 34, or even 44 year old body could do). When I rest in my body in the present moment, I notice what feels good and how truly remarkable my body still is and it fills me with gratitude. The sense of gratitude continues to fill me up and makes me feel even better.
I hope that my Top 10 List has been fun for you to read and has inspired you to try lots of different mindfulness and meditation practices to see how they can support you throughout the ups and downs of life.
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