Why so serious?
When I first started meditating about 20 years ago, I would sit in my closet for five minutes or so each morning before going to work. I would attempt to place my full attention on my breath and hold it there.
Breathing in, I would count “One”, then “One” again on the outbreath.
“Two” on the next inbreath, then “Two” on the outbreath.
Whenever I realized that my mind had wandered, I would start over at "One".
Far from delighting in those moments of practice, I slogged through them. I rolled my eyes. I longed to make it to “six”, and came to resent numbers one through five.
It was a rough way to start the day. Who needs to feel like a failure before they even walk out the door? Instead of practicing meditation, I was practicing self-criticism, practicing not believing I was good enough, practicing a sense of failure.
My practice changed dramatically when I let go of the “rules,” and stopped treating meditation like something I had to "win at."
I began to practice with a sense of play...
Who said I had to start at “one” every time?! I began starting with random numbers and counting upward. I imagined myself with my arms raised triumphantly in the air , crossing a finish line that said “83”. (Never mind that I had started counting at 79!) I began labeling my thoughts by TV genres. “Oooh, that’s definitely a sitcom.” “Oh boy, scary news channel.” “True crime”. Sometimes I would giggle out loud. On the floor of my closet. At 5 in the morning. It was a revelation.
Meditation has dramatically improved my life over the past 20 years (so much so that I co-founded Community Mindfulness Project!) but I don’t think I would have kept up with my practice if I hadn’t surrendered to a sense of play. And we hear this from others - that they’ve tried meditation but “weren’t good at it”.
At CMP, we actively seek to identify and remove barriers to practice. One of those barriers is the unnecessary sense of seriousness that chases people away from meditation.
We invite a sense of play, which we define as
“Engaging with a sense of lightness
Being willing to experiment and try new approaches
Not seeing the practice as “work” or a task to be checked off a list.”
As we head into the long weekend, we're curious: Does play enrich and empower your practice? What other attitudes of practice have supported you? Are there still some obstacles that hinder your practice? We'd love to hear from you!
Also, let's play! We offer five or six live sessions a week. Whether you prefer in-person or virtual, mornings or evenings, weekdays or weekends, we're here for you and with you.
With love,
Erika Long
Co-Founder