Avoiding the "You always/you never" Trap

Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. 
Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet) 1694-1778

This week we tap into the limitless source of joy that comes from appreciating the goodness of others.  This isn’t just the goodness that results in a benefit to us, but goodness in and of itself.  By deliberately taking the time to recognize the goodness in our loved ones, in people we may not know, and even in those who challenge us, we offset our tendancy to sense the shortcomings of others more strongly than their strengths.  With this renewed sense of being surrounded by goodness, our nervous system relaxes a bit and we feel safer.  Often the benefit of this practice is identified as being able to see the goodness even in our adversaries, and that is certainly one benefit.  This practice also helps us in our closest relationships.  How many times have we thought about or said to loved ones, “You always [take her side]” or “You never [do your fair share of the housework]”?  Science has shown that negative events are etched more deeply in our memory, are more easily retreivable and have a longer impact than positive events.  By regularly sitting and resting in the felt sense of the goodness of our partners and loved ones, we build more easily retrievable knowledge of their goodness, fairness, kindness and caring so that we don’t as easily fall into the “you always/you never” trap.  

We hope that you can join us this week as we sit in awareness of the goodness that surrounds us.  


Community Sittings this Week:
Monday 7:30 PM Sama Yoga 45 Grove Street, New Canaan
Tuesday 1:00 PM Ferguson  Library, 1 Public Library Plaza, Stamford (made possible by a grant from Bankwell)
Wednesday  12:00 PM New Canaan Library 151 Main Street, New Canaan

Upcoming Events:

  • Evening sessions @ Ferguson Library Thursdays at 7PM starting March 15

  • One Day Silent Retreat with Guided Meditations Saturday April 21

  • Mindfulness in Education Conference @ St. Luke's School New Canaan Saturday June 9

CMP survives on donations. All of our weekly sessions are free and open to the public, but donations are essential to our sustainability. Checks, cash and credit cards are accepted and donations are tax deductible.

Stay up-to-date on all CMP news and happenings by following us on Facebook, Instagram, Meetup and Insight Timer.  

May all beings everywhere without exception bask in the goodness that surrounds them.