Lawn Sign Meditation

It’s that time again: the time when leaves change into their fancy red, yellow and golden gowns, the air grows crisper….. and lawn signs sprout like mushrooms along every curb in town.

I’ve dabbled in political lawn sign display myself, and yet I’m still not settled on what it’s all for. I’m sure strategists would say they are essential for name recognition, or to create an impression (true or false) that one candidate has more support than another. While that may be why some people put them out, I wonder if that’s why most people put them out.

To me, they feel more like a plea to be seen and heard: a way of saying, “I hold a set of values and beliefs that are really important to me. I need you to hear that. And I am concerned that my interests and needs won’t be met if people who don’t share my values and beliefs are elected.”

Looked at in this way, lawn signs can be the beginning of a conversation: an opportunity to inquire (out loud or just internally) about the feelings and beliefs of your neighbor, the needs and interests that feel essential to them. Rather than symbols of division, they can be opportunities for empathy. “You, like me, want to be seen and heard. You, like me, are worried about having your needs met. You, like me, have a whole set of experiences that have led to your values, beliefs and perspectives.” Even if this inquiry stays at the level of unspoken curiosity - just the spark of an allowing for a common bond or shared interest - it changes how we relate to others. We move from fear to connection.

We know that human conflict rarely occurs at the level of needs and interests. When we take the risk of listening to each other, we find that we are often far more aligned at the level of needs and interests than we would have imagined. Conflict comes when we bump into each other at the level of strategies to meet our needs.

If we look back on the history of humanity, we can say with great certainty that we are creative, ingenious problem solvers and that our rate of innovation is astonishing. If we can, through dialogue, come to realize that we are aligned in our needs and interests, then surely we can design strategies that meet our collective needs.

At CMP, we’ve run many Mindful Listening + Speaking workshops where we ask people to partner with a total stranger and then we work through a ladder of communication that culminates with a one-on-one discussion with this (former, at this point in the workshop) stranger on a topic that is as controversial as we can think of, depending on the news of the day. When people hear the topic we’re asking them to discuss, they express shock, sometimes even anger. The overwhelming feedback we get at the end of the workshop, though, is, “That wasn’t that hard. I wish you’d chosen a really controversial topic,” even though half an hour before they were struggling to imagine discussing that very topic with someone who might hold a different view. The perception of difference - the sense of risk - has completely shifted. Once we sit down and share our feelings and needs and beliefs and interests, and we listen to those expressed by others, without judgement, without trying to convince or coerce, we see that we really are more alike than divided.

If you’re interested in taking part in a Mindful Listening + Speaking workshop, please let us know. The best antidote to fear and a sense of division is to listen to and speak with people who may seem to hold different views.

You can also check out this program: The Unify America Challenge. You give them some very basic info like your zip code, your political leaning, and your gender, and then they pair you with another American who may vote differently than you or be different than you in other ways for a guided conversation via zoom.

In the meantime, we offer this lawn sign meditation, an offering to yourself as much as to the neighbors whose lawn signs are different than ones you would have chosen:

“May we both feel seen and heard. May both our needs be met. May we both feel connected in the community. May we both have the courage to listen to each other without judgement, to speak our own truth, and may we work together to meet our collective needs.”

As Rumi invited, “Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

May we all meet in the field together,

Your CMP family

CMP Mindful Listening + Speaking Workshop at Darien Library