Getting Quiet, Turning Inward, Finding Solutions

Reverend Cathy Bristow is an interfaith minister, but she hasn’t always been in that line of work. In the 1970’s, Bristow - a Black woman - was a labor contract negotiator. On Sharon Salzburg’s recent Metta Hour Podcast, she describes the heated encounters that took place across conference room tables. At those times, when rhetoric became aggressive or people were yelling and shouting, attempting to knock her off balance, she would “go inward”.

She shares that she became known for “going quiet” in the midst of negotiating sessions. During these times, she would turn her attention to her breath, sensing into the sensations caused by breathing. As she did this, she connected with her inner stillness and rekindled a sense of safety. This enabled her to “respond, rather than react”, helping her negotiate from a place of equanimity. She noted how the breath helped her rest fully in the present moment, and that fear was a future moment experience - the result of a simulation of future possible outcomes. By resting in the present moment fear was disengaged. Science has shown that when we feel safe, the learning centers of the brain can be accessed, and our ability to see creative solutions widens.

Perhaps what I love the most about Reverend Bristow’s recounting of these experiences is that she was unafraid to use this skill in front of others. We don’t need to eschew strategies that serve our well-being just because they’re not a part of common culture. Instead, our skillful use of these strategies can inform and empower others to employ them. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was the norm to “go quiet” and connect with the present moment in the heat of conflict? Imagine the creative solutions and collaborations that could result.

May all beings without exception find solutions through the stillness of going inward,

Your CMP Family

Photography by the talented and generous Jennifer Barrett. Check out her work on Instagram @newlightcreativeservices