The Toughest Paths
Each of our journeys in meditation will be different: the practices that more quickly bring us a sense of well-being or peace; and those that agitate us and make us feel, for a time, as though we’re moving away from peace. It can be really helpful to pause and reflect on our relationship to different practices: what does it feel like to place our attention on the breath while seated? Or to send caring wishes out in to the world? Or tune in to the body inch by inch? Or to practice feeling joy for the good fortune of others? Are we drawn to particular practices, and push away from others?
Over the years, I’ve found that the hilly, bumpy roads often lead to more growth than the smooth, slightly downhill ones. This has been my relationship with Walking Meditation. The first few times I participated in walking meditation, I enjoyed it, maybe because I had always meditated in a seated position, or simply that it was novel to me. The third time I was called to practice walking meditation was on a 7-day retreat. We alternated between seated and walking meditation each day. As we stood to begin walking in a circle, I was excited to be moving and confident that walking meditation would be a feel-good, peace-inducing experience. But with each loop around the room I became more and more agitated. My mind would not settle. No matter how hard I tried to hold my attention on the sensations at the soles of my feet, it would go flitting off elsewhere. And each time it did that, rather than celebrating my awareness of mind-wandering, I would grit my teeth and bear down. I was angry at myself, angry at the program for making us do this, angry at the woman with the red socks who was walking too close to me….
But I was in a group of people, all walking in a circle, and couldn’t just bolt. I felt trapped, like I’d lost agency and power. And then suddenly, I became aware of all of these reactions; as though I could watch myself going through them from a slight distance. I went from being in the middle of this maelstrom of resistance, to being just outside of it, able to watch it and to take in a much wider world. Something began to shift, and I settled in to the quiet shuffle of shoeless feet on the floor, began to feel the connection with others around me, to appreciate the unity of movement and the soft sounds as we all walked with no goal or destination. I had broken out of my small shell of reactivity, self-judgment and aversion of discomfort, and was resting in pure present moment experience with mind and body, with a renewed sense of resilience.
Now, when I find myself in situations where I am crawling out of my skin, I can tap back into that moment of walking meditation when I stopped resisting and opened to the present moment. And I have learned that the practices that I want to avoid are often the ones that will teach me the most.
We hope you’ll join us this week so you can explore your own relationship with Walking Meditation.
May all beings everywhere find growth on the other side of difficulty,
Your friends at CMP
Guided Meditations
There are guided meditations available on the Guided Meditations page under the Resources tab.
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CMP thrives on donations. All of our weekly sessions are free and open to the public, but donations are essential to our sustainability. CMP is a licensed charity in the state of CT as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. Checks can be given to facilitators at our weekly sits or mailed to Community Mindfulness Project, P.O. Box 1713, New Canaan, CT 06840. Credit cards are accepted in the Giving section of the website. For donations of wired funds or appreciated securities, please email welcome@communitymind.org. Thank you!
